Post by jokulhaup on Oct 16, 2014 16:36:08 GMT
Sports fans here we are at 10 Mile High Stadium for a classic grudge match…the Dwarven Bloodaxes verses the Orcland Raiders!
Grim Tebow wins the toss, elects to kick then swipes the coin in one deft movement….the referee needs to learn you can’t leave gold lying around when there’s a dwarf close by! So the teams line up, with the Bloodaxes adopting their usual approach of ‘defend, block, injure’ in the first half with both slayers taking to the field; Robert Smith of the Cure sporting his trademark black Mohawk and ready to bring some gloom to the orcish team while Hanna Montana hopes to smash through the greenskin line like a wrecking ball.
Pickaxe Manning makes the kick and…oh it’s a stinker, hanging too long giving time for a Raiders Blitzer to get underneath and catch it. Darting down the wing he spots a gap in the dwarf defence, will there be an early touch down? Oh….some wimpier leagues would consider that a personal foul but along trundled Dion Sandstone to grab the Blitzers face guard with one hand and punch him with the other; that orc is certainly seeing stars now!
The balls loose, the Raiders are out of position… could this be a shock turnover? Could the Bloodaxes capitalize and go for a touchdown? Find out more after a word from our sponsors…
The Mighty Zug says “A Mars a day helps you work, rest and… decapitate the opposition”. Live life, end life, eat Mars!
…now we’re back, with the Raiders pulling things back from the abyss and putting up a sporting defence, so it’s the expected pitched battle we know and love. What can be more wholesome family entertainment than watching Hanna Montana pinning a lineman to the advertising hoardings and pummelling the twerking orc into the crowd? Look at brothers Pickaxe and Egbert Manning double team that black orc, well that’s one greenskin that won’t be joining us for the second half after catching a trademark hail Mary haymaker to the chin!
In amongst this brutality does anyone know where the ball is? Is it sporting that the Bloodaxe’s are refusing to pick it up as it`ll cramp their slaughtering style? As the ref blows for half time the score is nil – nil but the dwarfs look happy with those two K’O’s
Well the teams line up for the second half, with Grim Tebow taking to the pitch and doing his customary one knee bow….OUCH!!!! That’s got to hurt! The Raider fans sending the Bloodaxe captain sprawling to the floor with a well-aimed rock to the head! With Tebow stunned the orcs kick off, at the line of scrimmage there’s the expected knuckleduster mayhem as the dwarfs form a pocket around the ball. Tebow gets to his feet, sprints to the ball and it’s in his hand! I repeat a dwarf has actually held the ball!
Tebow is in the pocket….at the 50, at the 40….his team mates pummelling their way through to the end zone…at the 30…a touchdown looks certain…Nooooooo!!!!! Tebow is down and out! That orcs last gasp block sending Bloodaxe captain into la la land! The Raider goal line is there for the taking if only the Bloodaxes could actually pick up the ball. As a sideshow there are a few less orcs on the pitch as their injury box fills up but will the dwarfs score? The Raiders defence is spirited despite the odds…YES!!!!!! Hanna Montana has gathered the ball into his arms and evading one last tackle he trundles into the end zone as the clock runs out….we have another magnificent 1-0 Bloodaxe victory…OH MY GOD Hanna Montana is a woman!! Dwarfs shouldn’t reveal themselves like this in public and what she’s doing with the ball as a victory celebration is… urgh!!!!!! Simply disgusting, I’m sure the League are going to have words regarding that improper ball conduct!
The broadcast was brought to you by Fox News, impartial broadcaster of the year 2014.
PS: I have no idea how and why my slayers got called Hanna Montana and Robert Smith of the Cure but they did and its stuck!
Grim Tebow wins the toss, elects to kick then swipes the coin in one deft movement….the referee needs to learn you can’t leave gold lying around when there’s a dwarf close by! So the teams line up, with the Bloodaxes adopting their usual approach of ‘defend, block, injure’ in the first half with both slayers taking to the field; Robert Smith of the Cure sporting his trademark black Mohawk and ready to bring some gloom to the orcish team while Hanna Montana hopes to smash through the greenskin line like a wrecking ball.
Pickaxe Manning makes the kick and…oh it’s a stinker, hanging too long giving time for a Raiders Blitzer to get underneath and catch it. Darting down the wing he spots a gap in the dwarf defence, will there be an early touch down? Oh….some wimpier leagues would consider that a personal foul but along trundled Dion Sandstone to grab the Blitzers face guard with one hand and punch him with the other; that orc is certainly seeing stars now!
The balls loose, the Raiders are out of position… could this be a shock turnover? Could the Bloodaxes capitalize and go for a touchdown? Find out more after a word from our sponsors…
The Mighty Zug says “A Mars a day helps you work, rest and… decapitate the opposition”. Live life, end life, eat Mars!
…now we’re back, with the Raiders pulling things back from the abyss and putting up a sporting defence, so it’s the expected pitched battle we know and love. What can be more wholesome family entertainment than watching Hanna Montana pinning a lineman to the advertising hoardings and pummelling the twerking orc into the crowd? Look at brothers Pickaxe and Egbert Manning double team that black orc, well that’s one greenskin that won’t be joining us for the second half after catching a trademark hail Mary haymaker to the chin!
In amongst this brutality does anyone know where the ball is? Is it sporting that the Bloodaxe’s are refusing to pick it up as it`ll cramp their slaughtering style? As the ref blows for half time the score is nil – nil but the dwarfs look happy with those two K’O’s
Well the teams line up for the second half, with Grim Tebow taking to the pitch and doing his customary one knee bow….OUCH!!!! That’s got to hurt! The Raider fans sending the Bloodaxe captain sprawling to the floor with a well-aimed rock to the head! With Tebow stunned the orcs kick off, at the line of scrimmage there’s the expected knuckleduster mayhem as the dwarfs form a pocket around the ball. Tebow gets to his feet, sprints to the ball and it’s in his hand! I repeat a dwarf has actually held the ball!
Tebow is in the pocket….at the 50, at the 40….his team mates pummelling their way through to the end zone…at the 30…a touchdown looks certain…Nooooooo!!!!! Tebow is down and out! That orcs last gasp block sending Bloodaxe captain into la la land! The Raider goal line is there for the taking if only the Bloodaxes could actually pick up the ball. As a sideshow there are a few less orcs on the pitch as their injury box fills up but will the dwarfs score? The Raiders defence is spirited despite the odds…YES!!!!!! Hanna Montana has gathered the ball into his arms and evading one last tackle he trundles into the end zone as the clock runs out….we have another magnificent 1-0 Bloodaxe victory…OH MY GOD Hanna Montana is a woman!! Dwarfs shouldn’t reveal themselves like this in public and what she’s doing with the ball as a victory celebration is… urgh!!!!!! Simply disgusting, I’m sure the League are going to have words regarding that improper ball conduct!
The broadcast was brought to you by Fox News, impartial broadcaster of the year 2014.
PS: I have no idea how and why my slayers got called Hanna Montana and Robert Smith of the Cure but they did and its stuck!
I'll beat those Dwarves yet!